~ Regrets of a lifetime…~

As each day is passing, we are moving one step forward towards our death , the end of our present existence as you are by your name, family and relationship in society – for that will never be repeated for ever again!

Today, I write about the top regrets of people who have surpassed their age and are almost on the verge of exiting this world. Quite recently, I had the fortune of meeting a lady who paid us a visit just to give us a surprise – though she did this quite reluctantly as due to the current pandemic, she was herself quiet cagey of the precarious times we are living by! On a tea cuppa, we all sat together and started to chat and soon went into a mode of reminiscing our past – thinking of those who have left us behind, the goodness they had, the style of life they lived and all the other sundry topics which one could have aimed and chatted in due course of a meeting.

Out of nowhere a question came to my mind and in no time I popped the same abruptly during our discussion. I asked “Aunty what has been the best moments of your life and what has been your top regrets!”

Sejwal Aunty – as she has been popularly nicknamed by my family ever since I have got to know her, went into her ecstatic best and with a wicked smile told us “ It was when I wore the bridal dress for my marriage and the honeymoon time 😊, which I still cherish sometimes, though your uncle is no more in this world but he has left the memories as my everlasting companion!. She paused and then suddenly started to speak – “Also , the birth of my son was another proud moment – suddenly you felt responsible out of nowhere – his growing up years were moments to watch and that time which I spend was admirable though tough!”

After a brief dud moment, I reminded Sejwal aunty about the second important question “What has been your top regrets in life.” The second question made her think for some time whilst I stared at her expecting some interesting answers from a lady in her 70’s who has globetrotted and has seen every leaps and troughs of life!

Her mood became sombre as she started to speak – “ My top regret in life was that I could not worked after marriage – I did my Msc in Chemistry and wanted to pursue a career as a researcher but as luck would have it , I got married and had to stop chasing my dreams of becoming one!

The second more profound regret was that I lost touch with my childhood friends and didn’t bother to chase them up whilst I shifted my base from Chandigarh to Delhi, though I used to go to my hometown but never thought of meeting them blaming lack of time as an excuse.

Another heavy regret I had is that I didn’t spend much time with my parents as I always was busy doing my own things and didn’t bother to sit with them and spend quality moments with them. Suddenly , the time passed and I grew up to be a woman and it was time to get settled via the family life which I did . It was only when my son was born and when he grew up to be a young man and I wanted him to be beside me for some precious moments of my life , I realized he had no time for me and he was on the same path as I was in my adolescent years !”

Finally, she cheered up and said “ the last sweet regret was that I wanted to die before my husband and didn’t wanted to live in the dogma of lonely figure passing her time in an aimless life!”

I kept on hearing Sejwal Aunty patiently – every word that she spoke of was filled with the brim of wisdom!

The regrets made much sense to me as many of us are on the same path as she spoke of – there would come a time when we would realize and of course regret the cost we paid to earn our pedestal in society and when we will look back and see the steps below through which we prodded, we will find our missing friends, our parents and those fiery moments which held us up in pride!

I profusely thanked Sejwal Aunty to share her inner emotions and took in my stride every word which she uttered knowingly so that one day I would be of her age and someone quite younger to me would pop me the same question “ Sanjeev Uncle – what has been your greatest regrets in life?” – to which I have to prepare from now on with many changes - each one of us should prepare to give to our next generation a satisfactory answer to this life-end question!