~ From 'Contact' to 'Connection'...~

The changing dynamics of society has put in front of us some questions which ought to be given valid thoughts , as in a recent discussion we as friends sitting in a café were having regarding the void which have now got created in the families – more so with everybody’s aspirations and fast pace of life, the apertures have become more visible in relationships.

We were set of 5 gentlemen sitting on a coffee table, discussing about our situations and quirks of life to which we all get exposed every day and the general chit-chat speared around the topic of falling relationships.

The oldest amongst us was ‘Sharma Uncle” who is quite revered in our block and has lived his life in all success – having a closely knit family living in togetherness, though a rare feat now a days!

He suddenly started to swear on the reason for broken families and failing relationships – to him there was a difference between a contact and a connection that we have made in our relationships.

To this, my friend “Amit” who quite jokingly put forth his question to him “Sharmaji, what is the different between a ‘Contact’ and ‘Connection’?”

Sharmaji began and started to explain, quite beautifully the difference between a ‘contact’ and a ‘connection’ to bridge the gap between faltering relationships. He thus asked a series of question to Amit sitting on the table.

"Do you talk to your father?", the uncle asked the young pal.

My friend, a CA working in one of the big 4 accounting firm in pune(but now working from home in Delhi due to pandemic) looked visibly annoyed...

The second question was fast as there was no answer by him “When did you talk to him last?"

My friend thus suppressing his annoyance answered: "May be a month ago."

The uncle was quick to respond and thus asked “How many brothers and sisters are you?”

The young man reacted with his eyebrows raised and answered, “2 brothers and 1 Sister.”

The uncle throwed his volley again “Do your brothers and sisters meet often? When did you meet last as a family gathering?"

At this point, the young professional sensed that he is being interviewed but responded "We met last at festival two years ago."

Now the uncle quite laughingly asked my friend: "How many days did you all stay together?"

To this question, my friend kept mum for a second and responded “"Three days..."

As the uncle was asking back to back questions, I started to get the pointers as to what he is trying to dig, but as the conversation was turning quite interesting, I preferred not to intervene!

The next question thus was "How much time did you spend with your Father and mother, sitting right beside him?"

My friend was not in a mood to answer this one as he got the signal as to what was going on – may be he got in somber mood as he told uncle that “ My mother is no more!”

Then there was the final nail in the coffin, after apologizing to my friend after he got to know about the loss of his mother, the old chap questioned him again “Ok son, do you have breakfast, lunch or dinner together? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother's death?"

Drops of tears started to flow from the eyes of my friend – as I could see that he had gone in the past and flash memories of his mother came visiting him!

At that very moment, something unexpected happened, the uncle came forward and held the hand of my friend and said: "Beta, don’t be embarrassed, upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly... But this is basically the answer to your question about "Contact and Connection." You have 'Contact' with your father, but you don't have 'Connection' with him. You are not connected to him. Connection is between heart and heart... Sitting together, sharing meals and caring for each other, touching, shaking hands, having eye contact, spending some time together... All your brothers and sisters have 'Contact' but no ‘Connection' with each other..."

After these words of wisdom, there was a just one sound on the table – the ‘Sound of Silence’ – we all went into a silence mode and started to give deep thought to what we had just heard!

After a few seconds, my friend showed his gratification towards the old man on what he was taught in past few moments, “ Uncleji, thanks very much, today you taught me a life valuable lesson which I will surely keep in mind!”

This small incidence that happened on that table showcases the stark reality of today – Whether at home or in the society everybody has lots of contacts but there is no connection. Everybody is busy in his or her own world. …Let us not maintain just "Contacts" but let us remain "Connected."  Caring, Sharing and Spending time with all our dear ones and live life in a playful mood as if there would be no tomorrow!