~ Life Will Go On...~

What has been a reaction of a teenager when sudden and unexpected turn of events forced him to suddenly become the family patriarch – to take care of his sister and his ailing grandma. The anguish is palpable but with no answers whatsoever – he thus spoke and I just listened from other side of the phone…

“My belief in the idiom that “Even the strongest of the hands can lose grip when time comes!” has been proven right. The man whom I used to fathom as my father is no more – It is like a dream that I had lived with him and he is not to be seen by me in my entire life again, howsoever I weep in front of God or nature , I will always be kept in aloof whilst I seek an answer to my current situation – “Why us??”

The last time I saw him was in a stretcher, being semi-conscious and being taken to a hospital. The uncertainty of his breath was a cause for concern for all of us. I could see his eyes telling me something – the fear of not coming back alive was already there, as he wanted to say a final goodbye of sorts and to put on my shoulders, a huge responsibility of my family. The eventuality of bad news came way too early, as the next day I was being told that my father had passed away last night due to Covid.

I held my breath to an unmeasurable pass, though internally, I know that this could be a far reaching possibility, but the way it occurred, I was not prepared to handle the situation. How could I have confided this news to my little sister as she still had not come to terms with my mother’s passing away last week. All hell broke loose on a small happy family – just one invisible virus had devastated our lives.

Now it is me and my sister with my grandmother – that is all we call a family now, though our relatives live in another city, the pain of not seeing my mother and now my father would be enormous – why did God did this to us ? The desperation of seeking an answer is giving me sleepless nights but I have to be strong and confront the predicament with a strong face.

My young sister was preparing for her 12^th board exams and I am in my 3^rd year of college, well equipped with an aim in my life to be a management graduate, my single minded focus was towards cracking the CAT exam this year – I even had promised my dad that he should be ready to shell out Rs 1.5 lakh as he would soon be losing a bet – that I wont be able to get into any top notch IIM’s this year!

Now the effort is not worth it , or I could give him an honor down from here – My mom and father must be seeing and blessing us from heaven – for they know our family had a strong bond but was fragile at the same time. I cry , but in my own loneliness, I want to present a bold face to my grandma and my little sister – I know for sure that they share the same feelings, as what I have lost is their loss as well.

Life would not be easy for us now – I have two lives to cater to and take care of – suddenly I feel that I have become bolder and opaque in my interaction with my friends. A constant thought provokes me towards the badly hit finances of our household – Should I start working and leave my dream of further studies? or should I take a chance and fulfill my promise given to my dad and represent a sonnet to my father up there – he must be watching me. I have no one to consult as my grandma has well passed her age, though a teacher of her time, she knows the importance of education , though she knows that things wont be so easy now – with our limited finances and resources , we need to spearhead our life to its optimal best – the mayhem has done the damage – our priceless beings have been snatched by cruel hands of destiny but we will get back and prove our mettle – it is to prove to papa what he taught us – be strong for any eventuality.

Though, all the reprimands and scolding’s that I used to get from my parents have just vanished – I longed that now, but those have become a distant dream. Just in a flicker of a second , one phone call changed it all for ever – now it is us – just 3 of us and nobody – that is what life has left us with – but I promise you papa, I will surely not let you down and until we meet again, your legacy on our nameplate outside our home that you so hardworkingly build will always be a living memory to the passersby, our small legacy would go on bearing your name… “

May god give him strength to overcome this sudden upheaval of life – there are many such adolescents who have been marred with little or no hope of a future due to their parents sudden death – but again life would go on as it has always did…though it would not be easy from here on….