~ Kiss of Death... ~

“I am alive and my eternal belief in the existence of GOD has been exemplified by the pain and trauma I went through for almost two months that I have solely lived on the edge in a ICU of a Delhi hospital.

The worth of human life was at its nadir, with not a single day I would not see my ICU neighbor dying whilst gasping of that next breath and suddenly collapsing – at its peak, Covid took the toll on many of us but this is the firsthand account of a gentleman – my ex-office colleague who still has not fully recovered and is a victim of Long- covid. His lungs have contracted 40% and he can’t brisk walk or can do any heavy stuff in his day-to-day life.

“Sir, I have understood and have started to believe in this idiom “Health is Wealth!” – as I used to see young and old coming to ICU and becoming my next-bed neighbors and staying with me for about a week before resigning to their destiny – Doctors were helpless as there seems to be no way out!”

The bodies were quickly wrapped in body bags by specially designated hospital ward boys, who were un-emotional in handling the body bags as the stigma of the disease was at its peak – there were almost no family or friends who used to come to collect the bodies as they seem to go directly to the cremation grounds without any “Last Rites”. 

“I became suicidal in the 4^th week of my stay at hospital, as I could not see sun entering in the ICU , beams of tube lights and blinking machine sounds had cast away my sleep and had made me a zombie who was solely surviving on artificial induced Oxygen along with daily dose of injections which I now am bearing the brunt of – I have lost natural immunity and a slight change in the season leads to me getting sneezing attack and periodical fever- though I am alive and thank GOD profusely as I was lucky to surpass that turbulent times from grit and faith in tomorrow!

Life has surely given me another chance and a meaning to explore the beauty of living – earlier the chase of career and promotions, power and pelf was the only aim of life – not getting my next streak of oxygen became my top most priority and now that I am recovering, I view life from a completely different perspective.

How can I convince people who are abusing there bodies and taking it for granted – thinking they can dodge death – they are befooling their living and their existence, for they don’t know that body can soon become a liability when not taken care of! – but they wont understand as I was a bit unlucky to get caught in the vicious circle of Covid and had to be hospitalized as when I tell my ordeal to my friends, they laugh it out as they were cured in the premise of their own home having to take almost nothing.

I still thank GOD for his magnanimity and divine grace when I came out of the ICU to general ward and when I was granted leave, my mom and my wife were in tears – being covid victims themselves, they were not allowed to come to see me in the ICU as they had restricted mobility.

Phones were only way to connect and that too with a limited amount of time as I could not talk due to air exasperation – either I could see the dead being siphoned off or tell the hellish condition I was in, there was no reprieve.

Each day bought new problems as I was heavy on intravenous steroids, the pain and the trauma were me to record as I had nothing to do. Being in ICU for almost two months, Death became a friend as everyday the Doctors pronounced their decree without any human emotions.

So what was the take away of this episode – ‘Respect the nitty gritty of life, the family, friends and every such relation which you have made is for a purpose – no matter what, be humble and obey the command of ‘Time’ and accept things – everything is for a reason and a purpose’ – Taking me as an example and my youthful exuberance, I never valued anything much and took almost everything as granted – Not anymore, whilst I speak to you , every intake of breath I consciously breathe is being thanked by me internally, this is what Covid has taught me ….