~ Life’s Oxymoron...~

Went on a buying spree and the conversationalist that I am , I could not stop to utter a few words of appreciation of merchandise Uncle was selling in his shop. Articulately dressed, the old man had one assistant to help him out in finding my requirements of Tees. In the midst of it all , I started a  general chit chat about the current situation and how his business might have got impacted whilst he opens his shop quite reluctantly. He is about 70 years of age and in the target range of government advisory for not being let out without any valid reason.

During the course of our conversation, I did mention him to take care of himself whilst the whole world fight this dreaded disease – having said that , I guess uncle went into a deep pause and started to share his sordid – happy story – I deliberately write this down as ‘Sordid – Happy as hyphenated – the two oxymoron's!

He started to share that he has one son and one daughter, both married and having kids – he has a big house near his shop and that he stays with his family – et all , it consists just his wife! Both his kids are out of India since a decade, happily married and settled – They don’t want to come back and stay with their father and mother who have grown old and fragile and now they need a helping hand – if not financially but emotionally!

I did raise this valid point during the course of our jest conversations and uncle fully acknowledge this fact that now he actually wants his son to come back and stay with him. “He is earning well outside and has 2 kids going to school there, he cannot equate his earnings in India. Though I am happy that he has done good for himself, but I don’t have the courage to tell him that he should think of coming back as his mother and father have passed their ripe age of living – time is clicking fast and our health is of no guarantee now!”  His sense of early pride soon turned out into a feeling of melancholy.

I fully acknowledged Uncle’s concern but kept mum as I could see the ignominy of a desperate father who wanted his Son to do good for himself but the cost of it, he has to pay now at this ripe age.

As our conversation gelled “Son, many a times , I have had medical emergency in the night and it is my neighbors that have come to our help – though I can afford good medical support in India, I cant do things myself or for my wife if anything uncertain happens.”

I reverted “ Uncle, you should frankly talk to your son as to what he thinks about this situation that you face now , you have good property – Shop and 3 BHK home in a good locality and your son must have had a good savings as he has been staying outside for more than a decade – he can buy his own home here and make himself comfortably placed. What do you think?”

Uncle juxtaposed my argument with one sentence which summed that all – “ Son, new generation will never understand the situation which old parents face through at fag end of life! All through my life I stuggled to setup business for my son and he never obliged my hidden plans for him – He went to study outside and never to return. I have accepted this as my destiny and God’s will.”

The whole conversation took about five minutes – time was up as his assistant bought the requisite merchandise of my choice, the next thought was of business – I selected a few Tees and paid and said “ All the Best uncle, may you be hale and hearty and I see you again living life with equal fervor.”

The reply was “God Bless You.” Coming out of his shop , I went to severe thinking about such parents and the predicaments they face during their lifetime. This turned out to be a catch 22 situation and many a parents are in this situation as they want their kids to be well settled economically and personally but at the same time want them to be near them – “A Life’s Oxymoron” as I would say it – as one cannot have the best of two worlds at the same time, the situation makes it more complex with the time we live in now. For the kids, I genuinely feel stuck up at crossroads of life as many of them might feel obligated to stay with their parents at this stage of their life but the pulls of better life make them stay away from them – calling them ‘Victims of their own success’ what an irony I summed up this situation as I walk back home thinking about Uncle’s predicament….Life thus goes on…!