Tuesday, March 16, 2021

~ A Life Lost ~

The feeling of loss of someone makes you believe in the ephemeral nature of the world we call home. To know the subjectivity of life, start meeting strangers and try to nature a bond of effective communication with them and you shall get to know the inner trials and tribulations people are going through, though outwardly they seems to be happy and cheering.

Quite recently, I had the misfortune of losing a close aide who took his life as he was “bored of living”. He didn’t believe in making falsifying targets and achieving them till eternity and thereby getting frustrated for not achieving them. For him, his idea of life was “to live without any real expectations, be it family or friends -as everyone is tied up in his own myriad world of living – there are people who have expectations from you and vice-versa and not bowing down to these leads to other complexities in relationships. Many people are today expounding their dying relationships with loved ones – even if they were madly in love with them at one point of time. The fast-changing dynamics of living and people’s sky-high aspirations are major cause of such decay of life!

Though he was not married and lived single, had master’s in mathematics with distinction and was a schoolteacher in one of Delhi’s prestigious school, he held his notion of life parallelly for himself. There was no economic pressure on him to earn as his parents had actually left a fortune for their only son in cash and in property, but he had no charm to exemplify his wealth and lived modestly. Something inside him had died much long ago, as he didn’t want to marry and stifle himself in vicious chain of a relationships.

So, was it loneliness which was making him cult into a life of depression and slump? or was his dying spirit which was the culprit and he could not see a world beyond his own limited imagination? The answer to these questions can open a pandora’s box for many of us who would be making their own statements of failure of his life. There would be zillion suggestions from many people who think they are successful in careers and in relationships, have a wonderful family and have enough wealth to beat their ego BUT deep inside their state of mind , they could gauge the failure of what they thought about life and how vulnerable they are regarding their achievements and perfect shape life is in as of today.

My friends case is an excellent example of such tribulation of changing times – he was raised as a normal middle class kid , with both earning parents in government jobs, with an above average home and no liability , we went on to become a teacher of repute but suddenly life took a you turn and he lost his interest in living! No amount of psychiatry and self-development could make him come out of notion of life and one day he called it quits!

Ideally thinking, what is the real target in the world for which we strive so much – we falsify our own character and image, we hardly listen to the voice of our soul and keep on portraying ourselves in an image we are certainly not – we wear a mask everyday to work fully knowing that we are befooling not ourselves but also our creator – he must have been laughing at us on such overturns of life! Lying down in the night expecting a sound sleep, we still have daredevil dreams of our next aspirations or behavior that we will portray for the next day, to the satisfaction of everyone – such is the life we have made out for ourselves – a caricature of a beautiful opportunity we have been given for creating a periodical memory of time!

Ideally speaking many of us might have achieved what we really not thought of – we got to a point of no return, people who speak of leaving their cushioned jobs and start to live a life with minimalism sometimes befools their own senses as it takes lot of courage and responsibility to track back and start living a life with minimal needs. Life is surreal happenings of unexpected events which might happen any time of your living and once happened, your image thoughts of life and its direction would change.

Today , as I jot down these words remembering my old pal with whom I have shared my childhood, all I can say is that be thankful for all the memories he gave me whilst he made me meet souls who have taught me much about living, though for now all I can say and pray to the higher self is “May his soul rest in peace and attainment!”

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